


Scissors, Paper, Rock

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-12
Updated: 2008-01-12
Packaged: 2019-01-19 13:02:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12410790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: For a moment, they don’t seem so different after all, standing there with arms crossed stubbornly and eyes rolled heavenward.// James wants Lily and Sirius to bond. So they do, the only way they know how.





	Scissors, Paper, Rock

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Author's note:** This was actually randomly inspired by a fic I uploaded here exactly two years ago (Here at the End of All Things). As such, I suppose it is kind of a companion piece, though I didn't set out to write one intentionally. A fair warning: This is utter, plotless silliness.

&&&

“I want you to spend this Saturday with Sirius.”

Lily lifts her eyes from the book she is reading and gives James a look of utmost horror. “What? Why?”

“Because Sirius is important to me, and you are important to me,” James explains patiently. “And I want the two of you to become friends.”

Lily smiles unconvincingly and waves an impatient hand. “We are friends, silly. We hang out all the time.”

“You call all your friends - one moment, let me consult my notes - ah! that's right - you call all your friends bloody irritating wankers with egos the size of continental Europe, then?”

James is the picture of innocent curiosity.

“I said no such - oh, all right,” Lily concedes at a knowing look from James. “Stupid Charlotte and her stupid fat mouth. What do you want us to do, anyway? Share our deepest secrets and paint each other's toenails?”

James smiles, smug at his success. “I don't know. Merely bask in the pleasure of one another's company? Talk about how much you both love me? It's up to you, really. Go crazy. Get down with your bad selves.”

“Oh, fine. But I draw the line at braiding one another's hair.”

James puts an arm around Lily and sighs with blissful content.

Lily scowls and contemplates ending the relationship right there and then.

&&&

Sirius shuffles his feet and heaves an exaggerated sigh. “All right, let's get this over with. I've better things to do on a Saturday afternoon, even if you don't. So what's on the agenda?”

Lily bites her lip and appears to be thinking. They are standing awkwardly in the middle of Hogsmeade, carefully looking anywhere but at each other. It had been so quiet on the walk to town that, were it not for the sound of Sirius' feet crunching methodically through the packed snow next to her, Lily might have thought he'd ditched her. She had been decidedly okay with this scenario. 

“I say we go to the Three Broomsticks and get so sloshed we forget who we're there with,” Lily suggests blithely.

Sirius appears to mull this over for a moment before rejecting it with a shake of his head. “I say we floo to London and watch women remove their clothing for money.”

“Pig,” Lily replies promptly with a roll of her eyes. “I veto your suggestion.”

“Then I veto yours.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

For a moment, they don't seem so different after all, standing there with arms crossed stubbornly and eyes rolled heavenward.

Lily notices and finds this more than a little disturbing; she uncrosses her arms and drops her eyes to the ground. She studies her shoelaces with apparent intensity. 

“How about we settle it with a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors,” Sirius suggests finally, when it is clear Lily is not going to cave on the issue.

“You mean Scissors, Paper, Rock?”

“No, I mean Rock, Paper, Scissors, you insufferable bint.”

“Whatever.” Another eye-roll. “On the count of three, then. One. Two. Three.”

Both hands - one large and calloused, one small and freckled - settle on scissors.

“Again,” Sirius says, and they put their hands back into position. “One. Two. Three.”

Scissors.

“Again,” Lily says, blowing bangs out of her face and leaning forward intently.

Scissors.

“Stop doing scissors,” Sirius complains, stomping a foot and batting Lily's scissors-shaped hand away from him. “It's cheating.”

“It is not cheating,” Lily scoffs. “Anyway, _you_ stop doing scissors, if it bothers you so much.”

“Never,” Sirius vows, and they put their hands into position again.

&&&

“How was your date with Lily?” Peter asks with a snicker when Sirius comes thumping through the door of their dormitory later that night.

James and Remus look up curiously, and Sirius shrugs a noncommittal shoulder.

“She's not so bad after all,” is all he will say. “We really bonded.”

“What did the two of you do?” Peter asks, eyeing Sirius - who had just tripped over his trunk in an attempt to remove his boots and is now sprawled rather ungracefully on the floor - with suspicion.

“We went to the Three Broomsticks and got totally sloshed, then flooed to London and paid ladies to strip naked for us. Lily knew just where to go.” Sirius grabs a boot and tucks it under his head. “She drank me under the table, Evans did.”

Remus is incredulous. “You're joking, right?”

“It was a draw,” Sirius responds cryptically, and then he begins to snore. 


End file.
